Waltz of the Copyright Bots

Inspired by adventures with Facebook. But only in Russia and Belarus.

Words: Joseph Abbott
Music: “Waltz of the Flowers,” Tchaikovsky

Russia won’t play this song
Belarus won’t let you hear it
Warner Music Group, and Sony Music too
Will ding you if they think you’ve used it
When Facebook will show my stream
Where “What Remains of Edith Finch” played
They will mute the part
Where the baby’s in the bath
‘Cause it turns out Tchaikovsky’s
Under copyright there still

And the software thinks it
Might be Leonard Bernstein
Or it might be Simon Rattle
Or it might be André Previn
Whose recording I’m infringing on
Oh, they think it might have been in Berlin
Or it might have been Chicago
The Royal Philharmonic
They’re sure it’s got to be one of those

And I keep getting notified
That changes have been made
And you won’t hear some parts
When it plays in Russia
And it’s muted in Belarus! (Da-da-dum!)